living with expectancy but no expectations

lately i’ve been trying to be expectant, yet live with no expectations.

world race is something that is constantly on my mind. at school i’m writing in my notebook about all the things left to do and all the money left to raise while day dreaming about what an african sunrise will be like. at church i’m praying and thanking Jesus for this opportunity and sometimes asking “why me”? Why God did you choose little me out of all people to go on this great big, uncomfortable, beautiful, scary, life changing journey? I think it’s okay to ask God that, and it’s even okay not to get a clear answer sometimes. While i’m scrolling through instagram and my whole feed is past and present world racers and what they are learning and how they are struggling and the things they are experiencing and I think man that’s gonna be me in a few months.

I’m trying to be expected of big things because we serve a very big God. I’m trying to be expectant that God will change not only my life but the lives of my team and the people we will encounter around the world. God will allow us to bring people to him through his word. God will challenge us, he’ll make us do things that we don’t really wanna do. God will teach us and he will grow us. God will move in ways we could never imagine. I know all these things to be true because that’s just who He is. Faithful and true and graceful.

However…

I often put so many expectations in my head of what our ministry will look like, or what our living conditions will look like, or what my team will be like once we’ve been living under the same roof for 3 months. I don’t want these expectations. I don’t want to be let down by something my mind here in the states thought up, i don’t want to be let down by expectations that didn’t even come from Jesus. I want to be fully ready to receive whatever it is that our ministry does look like, or wherever it is that we our living. no matter what that looks like. praying that God will prepare my heart to receive, not prepare it to be let down.

With all that being said I am eager and I am excited for these new season a head. just expecting Jesus to be present and with that I know I won’t be let down.

With Love, mags