what’s new?

Hey, everyone! So I’ve been home for almost 2 months now and I just wanted to let you all in on how re entry has been and future plans and all the things. You all know we were abruptly pulled from the field do to COVID-19. Coming home was hard to say the least. We had no debrief, no big final goodbye as a squad and it felt like the sweetest season of my life had been ripped right out from under me. I was sad and angry and confused. I won’t lie, I still feel that way sometimes, even now. I remember walking into my house for the first time in almost 7 months, some of my squad mates were staying with me and as I was showing them around I walked into my room and just began to weep. I find myself being back in that place sometimes, 2 months later, still pausing and weeping to the Lord at the loss of this cherished part of my life. The Lord is sweet though, and meets me where I am. I’ve been blessed enough to have 4 of my squad mates live very close to me these last 2 months and we’ve built such a flourishing community even during this strange time. 

In the midst of processing my time on the race with the Lord and with my squad mates I’ve learned a few things. One being every good gift and every perfect gift is from above (James 1:17). Meaning that the race was a gift from the Lord. He gave me this time in my life to get away from everything I was to focus on everything that He is. But the gift was never 9 months, from the beginning of time He knew it was only 7. I had to get out of this mindset that something had been “taken” from me and learn that those extra months were never mine to begin with. It shifted my heart posture from resentment and frustration to gratitude. I’ve learned a lot about rest too. I was so restless, feeling like I had to see everyone as soon as I could. I felt like I couldn’t say no to plans with friends or family and I avoided being alone at all cost. One day I had some friends over and I found myself just sobbing in the bathroom because I was so overwhelmed, which is not like me. I realized I was spreading myself too thin, not giving myself enough time to sabbath and just sit in the presence of the Lord. He slowly brought me to the realization that rest is not a burden, it is a gift that can only be found in Jesus. I also learned about growth. Now, growth is something the Lord has been taking to me about since month 1 of my race (I even got a tattoo about it) but I felt like being home was the time I really had to put what I knew into practice. Growth is not linear and temptation is real. Being thrown back into America with everything I’ve ever struggled with sucked. One tiny mess up or dipping my toe into an old habit had me crumbling. I felt like I had just thrown all my growth and healing with the Lord out the window. Oh, but the grace of our Father. Every mess up I was reminded of how it was different. Of how this time I listened to His conviction and didn’t numb it. How this time I didn’t let shame keep me silent and I asked for accountability. How this time I ran to Him for comfort instead of that guy who gave me false affirmation (just being real). How this time I am different because Jesus has made me new. The very wise David Towns once said “You’re washed clean with His blood and His blood doesn’t wash off”. 

Re entry is hard and it takes pressing in but the fruit of that is so beautiful. This has been a season of trusting the Lord like never before and look at all He’s taught me. I’m so thankful. And to just add onto how steadfast and faithful the Lord is I have some news. This is something I’ve been praying about since about month 4 or 5 of my race and I know it’s something the Lord has asked me to do and opened the door for me. In September I will be going back out on the field for 3 months to team lead for the upcoming (2020-2021) gap year racers!! What that means is I get to lead and disciple and walk along side a team of 6-8 women for the first 3 months of their race. I’m so honored God has asked me to step into this roll. My team leader Jaynna, who is now one of my very best friends, was such a influential and incredible part of my race and I’m so excited to have the same opportunity. I will be on Route 4 and if all goes as planned I’ll be going to Costa Rica and Guatemala! AIM does have a back up plan if things are not fully up and running by September and in that case I will be in Gainesville, GA for those 3 months still discipling and helping with missional and leadership training, just not overseas. I will have to fundraise $3,000 for those 3 months and fundraising starts now!! It’ll work the same as my race, you can donate directly through my blog or give through my venmo (maggie-obryan-1). You guys have been so generous to me over the last almost 2 years and I’m so thankful for each and every one of you who have been apart of my journey. You can also be praying for me and my squad (who I’m so excited to meet!!!)

Thank you so much for still keeping up with me and what the Lord is doing in my life! Please reach out, I would love to talk and pray for you! I’ll keep you updated with team leading and all that fun stuff! Love you all so much. 

-Mags